Weirdness is Just our Curse
by Wind Wanderer
Summary: The Winchester family attacts the strangest incidents. It does not even have to be supernatural all the time. John finds out that women cannot be trusted when they stare at his baby like Sammy is theirs. Preseries, Wee!Chesters and Good daddy John
1. Crazy old women want to eat your kids

Okay, this is supposed to be a fluff of the Winchesters having a weird life even when it does not involve the supernatural. Cause lets face it, that family is cursed with the weirdest luck anyone has.

I do not own Supernatural. If I did I would be so happy.

Read and Review

* * *

The muscles in John Winchester's back tightened like bowstrings ready to explode. John, being a good man at heart, was not a person who would strike a woman, at least a non-supernatural female, but this tart would be the exception if she did not stop grabbing his son!

The whole affair started six months after the Fire, when the Winchester family rolled into a little town called Rural Valley, a little coal town in Pennsylvania. It was a place to stop for the night before heading north to Lake Erie for a hunt.

John would have preferred to continue through the night, but his sons' needs would not comply with that plan. Sammy had been crying for the past hour while Dean had tried in vain to keep the year old happy. One problem with being a new hunter was that curtain mundane activities became forgettable while researching possible evil things and ways to stop them from harming innocents. Sadly, for John's nerves and Sam's stomach, purchasing new baby formula was one of those forgotten chores. John did not want to be a negligent father but he had honestly thought there had been some formula left.

"Daddy, Sammy's hungry." Dean called from the back, not mentioning his own growling tummy.

"I know buddy, I'll find a store quick." John called back as he turned onto the Main Street. It was not long before he found one, like any of the other local town groceries John had seen since he had started hunting.

The eldest Winchester ignored the blatant stares of the locals as he climbed out of the Impala; the car always drew attention in these small towns. Though seeing a big man with a baby held on leather clad shoulder and small boy in hand drew its own glances.

"What do you want to eat?" John asked Dean as the three made their way toward the baby supplies. Before John could grab the closest concoction to his hand, Dean reached out and snagged the proper brand, along with some other necessaries for the baby.

"A sandwich Daddy." The boy answered, green eyes looking over the items in the basket to make sure he had gathered what Sammy would need. Pride surged through John as he watched his eldest child take command of Sam's care, which would mean that John did not have to worry about leaving the boys, knowing that Dean could handle things.

"What an adorable baby!" a woman squealed behind John.

John turned quickly to see a woman almost twice his age, bleach blond hair hanging around a heavily painted face. The eldest Winchester drew Sammy backward when the woman stretched a claw-like hand toward the baby's fuzzy head. John did not like the look in this woman's eyes. Many women fall prey to the cuteness of the little bundle, but never had he seen the hunger in this woman's eyes as she looked at the baby.

John leveled a steely glare at the woman but she seemed to not notice, "What's your name cutie, I could just take you home with me," she cooed.

"Excuse me," John grunted as he pulled Dean along as the father took his sons away from the weird woman toward a deli in the back of the store. "Could I get two ham sandwiches?"

"You know," John's brows came together with an almost audible 'click' when he heard the woman behind him. She had obviously followed them, not getting the cold dismissal John had given her, "A little angel like this should have a woman's influence. A man just cannot give what a baby needs. Are you married?"

John growled, "She died." Why could this woman not understand he wanted her to leave?

John visibly tensed when the aged hussy pinched Sam's cheek. Sammy scrunched his face and whimpered, not liking the pressure on his face. He may have physically removed the woman from close proximity to the Winchester brood if the teen behind the counter had not brought the food that moment.

John made a tactical retreat to the registers, hopping to escape the crazed woman. "Are there any hotels around here?"

The woman behind the register looked up at the cold question. She looked close to saying something rude before noticing the children clinging to him. Her eyes softened as she offered kindly, "Yes, there are a few about a mile down the road."

"Thank you ma'am," John drawled without looking, gaining a blush from the woman. Grabbing the bags as well as Dean's hand, the Winchesters made a beeline for the Impala before the crazy woman could follow.

Dean strapped Sammy into his seat, beaming at the baby, "Gonna eat Sammy."

Sam gurgled happily at his brother, content in Dean's affection compared to the lady who had scared him, hungry or no. John watched as the infant grabbed the boy's fingers and sucked on them.

"Ew, Sammy." Dean rubbed slobber onto Sam's jumper.

"De!" Sam replied happily.

John smiled at his sons antics as he glanced in the rearview mirror, "We're all going to eat buddy, just don't let Sammy ruin his dinner by eating you."

"Yes sir."

John turned the car into a parking lot in front of the first hotel that looked affordable. "Watch your brother," John ordered as he climbed out of the driver seat. It did not take long for John to register with the elderly woman behind the counter, under the name Jack Torrance, and to get permission to use the kitchen for Sam's bottles. Leaving the check-in, the eldest Winchester heard his distressed children before he saw what was going on. Images of possibilities, everything from carjackers to the demon taking his children, flashed through John's head as he dashed toward the cries.

John came into view to see that woman from the grocery, stepping away from the Impala with a crying Sam in her arms. John saw red then; woman or not no one grabbed his baby and got away with it. John was almost upon the freak woman when a small blur from the car beat him to the punch. Dean had leapt from the car after his brother and did what any five year old would do when faced with someone they detested, he sunk his teeth into the woman's leg.

The woman cried out as the sharp teeth of the five year old sank into her calf. This had the duel affect of making the woman drop Sam and drawing the attention of people in the tavern beside the hotel. John, movements honed from training things faster then any normal human, was able to catch his baby before he hit the ground. Dean removed himself quickly before the woman could try to kick him off and retreated to the safety of his father's legs.

"You little bastard!" the woman growled, making as to grab the child. She stopped short when she found herself facing a visibly angry John Winchester. Not many people in the hunting profession could stand down the angry Winchester patron, and this woman held no chance at all.

John was ready to strike the woman when he caught sight of a cop car in the corner of his eye. So did the woman, for she had turned to run the opposite direction.

"Are your children all right sir?" one officer asked as the other chased after the woman.

Sammy had finally started to calm down now that he was in the protective arms of his father, while Dean still had an angry flush at the fact that that old weirdo had tried to snatch his baby brother.

"Fine," John said as he laid a reassuring kiss to Sam's forehead.

"You are lucky sir, that woman has been snatching children all over town. We just have not been able to locate her." The officer looked embraced; he seemed to know he was intruding on the Winchesters reassuring each other. "I will need your statement sir."

John said the barest minimum to please the officer enough to make him leave. It took Sam's hungry cries and John's steely glare to make the man offer to come back tomorrow to get a few report.

With the action done, and knowing his sons were going to be fine, John grabbed the forgotten bag of food. Picking up Dean, John walked into the kitchen to see to his responsibilities as a father. They would be leaving early to avoid the police, but that was then. Right now, John was just happy to have his kids in his arms.

* * *

Ah, mushy mushy. I hope you like it, I may or may not continue to make little chapters about little things happening to each Winchester. You know; Sammy's first day at school, Dean being chased by some farmer with a shotgun and so on. Now REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!! Please, I need some encouragement, I am sad. 


	2. Bring out your dead!

Sorry, sorry, I know it's short. And that I have not posted in a long time but it has been tough. College is not a piece of cake ya know? And I have been so down in the dumps for the last month, I could barley do my work, let alone work on a new chapter. So here you go. Don't own Supernatural, don't own Exorcist, and don't own Monty Python.

Leave a review; cheer up my putrid, stinking, rotten life.

* * *

"_Your mother's in here, Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I'll see that she gets it."_

Two pairs of eyes watched the priest try to exorcise the demon. Only one of the boys actually understood the film because the other was a year old with wisps of blond hair. The five year old boy who held the baby propped up against his chest was watching the movie with wide green eyes.

This is what Pastor Jim found when he walked into his living room. The Winchesters had met Jim about four months ago, and already John had wrangled the hunter into babysitting duty. Odd, since the elder Winchester was so paranoid, but need outweighed the alterative of leaving two small children alone in a hotel room. Plus Jim suspected that John Winchester had snuck holy water into his drink ever time the boys were in the pastor's home.

"I do not think you boys should watch the _Exorcist._" Displeasure was evident in the older man's voice as he watches the girl spit up pea soup.

Dean did not even glance up from the television set. "Yes we are."

An eyebrow shot up at the little boy's attitude. Dean had seemed like such a nice boy when Jim met him first. Once the shyness had worn off though, the defiance had come out. "Would you tell your father that?"

"No." Still the boy would not look up. This was the attitude that would cause the head aches and homicidal fantasies in many a police officers. But right now, it was sort of cute.

"Right." Jim thought quickly, "You don't want your brother having nightmares do you?"

For Dean's part, it took a few minutes of thought, ". . . No, guess not."

The hunter smiled at his victory, "So let's change this channel."

Jim changed the channel to a cartoon, but this was met with a howling year old. Jim looked at the boys in awe. How the heck did Sammy know what he was watching?

"Nope." Dean chirped.

Jim frowned as he surfed through the channels looking for something the boys could watch. Old reruns of Munster's and the Adams were denied (Jim had to agree, they were insults), kids shows were met with screams, and even the last ditch soap opera was a flop.

Ready to pull his hair out, Jim sighed in aggravation. "What will you watch?!"

It was then that a crystal clear bell of laughter rang from Sammy. Both Dean and Jim looked at the television to see what had finally been good enough for Sam.

_"Bring out your dead!" Clang. "Bring out your dead!"_

"Monty Python, Sam?"

Sammy looked up at Pastor Jim and smiled. Aw well, Jim thought, at least the kid's happy. "You are going to be one odd child Sammy."

I was disappointed in Pastor Jim, I expected more from him in the show. REVIEW DARN YOU!!


	3. John is not happy

Okay, this is the first chapter without the boys. Well, Dean gets a cameo but not much. Sorry it is not too cute, I wanted to do this cause it was one of the original ideas that I had about this fic. Please review and I will get back to the Wee-chester goodness. Oh and the crazy lady will be returning soon, by popular demand of a couple of readers.

* * *

"And then, I whent 'VWOOM' an' them bugs whent 'EheheEe'!" The drunken man sputtered as his hands flew through the air. John Winchester drew back enough to avoid the flailing limbs without falling off the barstool. The eldest Winchester had been at this for hours, trying to get the only witness of a suspicious attack to give him information. It was not going well.

"The figure in the woods," John sighed, it was always tough getting information from bars. Simpler then going into a home but harder in the fact that the drunks tended to get off subject more times then a dog sniffs hydrants.

"Oh yeah," a strained look crossed the man's face. Thinking was obviously hard for him.

The vein in John's temple began pulsing out of his forehead. This was not going to end well if the man did not get on with it and let John get back to the boys.

This was not to be for the man took that moment to keel over in a drunken faint. John poked the body with the toe of his boot, sighing.

"He does that often," a silky voice came from behind the hunter. John turned to see a very pretty bar maid. Her wavy blond hair brought the image of another, slightly older blond. Mary.

The woman smiled at John, "I'm Amber."

"John," John turned back to the bar, not wanting to look at her.

Amber leaned over the counter to look at John's face. "You know, you remind me of someone." She pouted her lips, "Someone on movies."

"Great," John did not want this to continue. That too familiar face was burning into his mind, bringing up memories of happier times.

The blond was cut off by a ringing coming from the man's jacket. John fished out the cumbersome cell phone, happily paid for by the credit card of one R. G. Veda, and hit the receiving button. "Yeah."

"Mr. Winchester. This is Carrie White, the Principal of your son's school," John raised an eyebrow at this but did not comment. Calling a school official a homicidal movie character was not the best way to get around trouble.

John forgot that line of thought quickly as he remembered, "Wait a minute, Dean is in kindergarten."

If John was looking, he would have noticed the starry eyed look in Amber's eyes at the mention of his son. But he had not and the Carrie started again, "I am aware of that Mr. Winchester, which is where he is causing the trouble." There was a very distinct crash in the background, "Do not stand on the chairs young man!" More anarchy could be heard across the phone, making John's mouth twitch.

"Anyways," the Principal's voice was strained tight, "Your son is in quite a bit of trouble. Dean covered the chalkboards with odd symbols, scared many of the students while he described most of the film works of Steven King," That did make John smirk, that kid loved his movies, "and he started a fight."

John did take notice to this, "He was in a fight," that went against direct orders. John had said no fighting.

"Actually he was the cause of a fight between two girls in class."

"What about your son?" Amber asked. She had worked her way very close to the hunter, almost pressing against the man's arm.

"He has girls fighting over him," This time John did smile, that's his boy.

"Yes, I would like you to pick him up. He needs a strong talking to sir." Carrie sighed out the last part. It was the sound of a woman who had dealt with many parents who never heeded her words.

"Yes ma'am," John also sighed, he may not be psychic like Missouri but he had a sinking sensation that this would not be the last time he was called about Dean.

Of course, being a Winchester, it would never be that easy.

A burly hand clasped onto John's leather clad arm, "What do you think you're doing with my woman twerp!"

John looked up at the towering mass of fat and muscle, the stench of too many shots of whisky on the man's breath. This sort of man was the type who was ready for a fight at any time, no matter if he had a reason or not.

"I have better things to do," John shrugged the man off, making his way to the door.

"Don't turn your back on me!" the man swung a clumsy fist at him.

John easily dodged and went in for a low attack. This was not a good day.

* * *

Okay, that is it. I hope you enjoyed it, or at least it scratched the itch for another chapter. The next will be fluffy, I promise. REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!! I will give you cookies and Dean plushies. 


	4. First hunt

Sorry to whatever loyal fans I have left. I really did not have any time to update anything, with work and school. So I offer you Sammy's soul as an apology. Wait, I can't since I don't own the show? Copy right infringements? Blasts!

Oh well. Hope everyone, new and old, enjoys the story.

* * *

Sam glared at his brother and father, his little arms folded across his chest. He did his best to imitate the look his daddy gave to big people who were being bad. The scowl deepened when Dean laughed at his attempt at the Winchester glare.

"I don't wanna stay in the icky room," Sam huffed. He did not want to be left alone while Dean got to go with their father to work, while Sam never got to. The two would go off for hours to do "Big Boy Stuff", as Dean called it. Though Daddy would often go off for hours, Dean had always stayed with the youngest of the family. It had made the time stuck in whatever apartment or hotel room they were in. And now Sam was being left alone in the hotel room without his big brother to play with.

John scowled at his baby, the look identical to the one on his youngest boy's face. How much John missed the days when the only argument he had with Sam was about the need for food or a new diaper, "Sammy, behave."

The only reply was stubborn green eyes trying to stare him down. If he had not been so annoyed by this behavior John would have laughed. The boy was going to be too much like John, with the same obstinate attitude that had gained the eldest Winchester more than a few punches. And most of those licks had been from friends.

Dean, always the peacemaker, jumped in, "Come on Sammy, it's only a couple of hours. Then we'll be right back."

The mulish look changed when the five year old looked at his brother. Instead, a look of hero worship came over the little face as he looked up at Dean, "But Dean, I'll be bored."

Dean looked thoughtful, "You've got toys to play with, and the t.v. . ." the boy smiled as an idea struck him. Moving toward the bags, Dean dug out a rather large book. John and Sam leaned forward to see what he had. Smirking, the boy placed the book into his brother's hands, "You try and read this. Your teacher said you're a good reader, so see how much you can."

John saw the front of the book, noticing the school name of an elementary a few states over imprinted on the corner of the cover. The title did not bode well with the father, "Dean, you can't let him read that."

"Why not, it's mostly easy." The eldest of the Winchester sons stated with a blank expression.

John saw through the look. The boy was going to cause trouble with this little action, "'Encyclopedia of Monsters' Dean? Why would you let your brother read this crap?"

The nine year old shrugged, "It'll keep him busy. See?"

Waving his hand toward the younger boy, John saw that Sammy had already opened the book. The boy's brow crinkled as his mouth moved silently as he attempted to sound out a new word.

With a heavy sigh, the man let the issue slide. If it kept Sammy quite he would let him read the damn book. Most of it was made up anyways; the creatures inside would be fabricated to fascinate a child, unlike many of the tomes he read on the same subject.

"Sammy, if you get hungry there's some peanut butter sandwiches in the fridge. Get a juice box, not the milk."

He waited until Sam nodded, showing he had heard the order before grabbing his bag. A quick check of the salt lines was finished before John moved toward the door. John nudged Dean toward the door, "Let's go Dude."

The younger boy continued to read the book intensely as John finally closed the apartment door. Taking his time, John made sure that each bolt was securely turned. He stood at the door for a moment, unwilling to walk away. It was the first time that Sam would be completely on his own. It was tempting to change his mind about this being Dean's first hunt. To leave him here to protect Sammy. But he could not do that; Dean needed to start getting into hunting while there was a relatively safe target. It would be safer than having him run into something nasty without any experience.

Burying the guilt, John looked at Dean, "Ready?"

The boy squared his shoulders and looked up at his father like a good soldier, "Yes sir."

* * *

It was an hour before Sammy drew his face out of the book. It was neat to the little boy; pictures of exotic creatures looking up at him, some wonderful while others were scary. And he did understand a lot of what the little passages said, with a few exceptions. A lot of the names were hard as well as weird words like "Boolivea" or "Yoogahslavea" but Sam had kept on reading.

Climbing to his feet, Sammy trudged to the kitchen. He did as his father had said, reaching for the juice box instead of trying to pour a glace of milk.

_I wonder if daddy would let me have a mermaid_, the boy thought as he chewed on the sandwich.

Sammy stopped chewing. He could have sworn that he had heard something inside the small kitchenette. There, Sammy heard something again. To the child, it sounded like little feet scraping against the floor.

Setting the sandwich down, Sammy looked around for the thing that had made the sound. A frown grew with each minute that passed without finding the mysterious noise maker.

"Maybe it's a monster," Sammy muttered as he moved to the abandoned book. He sat on the floor, drawing the book into his lap.

One of the pictures drew his eye as he flipped through the pages. Tiny men stood on a bench surrounding a shoe the size of a car. _An elf_, Sammy read, _will sneak around without being seen. Some make trouble by taking things. Others will help people who leave little cloths or food for them._

_Daddy said the book was stupid_, Sammy thought with a smirk. _I can show him._

Climbing to his feet, Sam returned to his search.

* * *

John pulled into the parking lot as the Impala rumbled with the same fatigue its owner felt. John grimaced as the slight movement of his arm caused his clothing to squish against the upholstery. Both father and son were drenched with so much grime that it looked as if they were actually grey from head to toe. Not an inch of clear skin was left visible under the gunk.

Dean looked satisfied with himself despite the muck covering him. In fact, the boy was sitting in the passenger seat like it was a heroes chariot. The boy was wearing his layer of filth like a badge of honor.

"You did good, Dean," John offered.

A bright smile crossed his face at those four words. Instead of pushing for more praise, the boy looked at the crumpling walls of their current place, "Sammy'll be happy to see us. . . Dibs on the shower!"

John did not have time to blink before his son was out of the car. Shaking his head, he followed his son at a slower pace, "You do realize you can't get in without my keys, Deano?"

Dean smirked as he pulled the needed keys from his pocket. John snickered at the sight, "Imp," he threw out as he reached the boy. With one hand, John took the keys from his son while he used his other to give a light noogie to the boy's short cropped hair.

The light banter stopped as soon as the door opened.

The two were met by chaos inside of their room. Most of the cushions from the chairs were flung about, tables were overturned and the small kitchen space was littered with pans and food from cabinets that hung open. A pistol was in the eldest Winchester's hand before he had recovered from the shock. He sensed rather than saw Dean fall into a defensive stance, knowing that the boy would have his knife in hand.

"Sammy?" the two hunters moved slowly into the room, watching for whatever had torn the room apart.

The sound of movement drew the two toward the joining room that held the beds. They moved silently toward the door, weapons ready. John threw the door open in an attempt to surprise the thing inside.

But there was no supernatural beast, nor was there some seedy human being inside the small space. Instead, there was a very disheveled Sammy sitting on one of the small waste baskets that sat beside each bed.

The boy beamed up at his father, "Daddy! Dean! Your back!"

"Hey buddy," John pushed the gun into the waist band of his jeans, "What's going on?"

Sammy bounced on the basket, waving his arms excitedly, "I caught an elf!"

He looked up at his father with pride while his father stared down in confusion, "An elf?"

Sam nodded his head happily. While John tried to remember if he had read anything about elves in his research, Dean smiled at Sam, "Way to go Sammy!" Dean cheered, "Can I see it?"

Sammy took a moment to think it over before nodding, "Ok Dean, but watch out. Elfs are _very_ tricky."

Once the younger boy was off, Dean knelt beside the basket. John watched his son tilt the rim up, waiting for something to happen.

Dean pushed it back down as fast as he could. Shock crossed his face, "Oh man."

"What is it?"

Dean looked up and laughed, "He caught a mouse."

* * *

Yeah, that was not that great. But I wanted to get something out. I just need to think up some more cute things to do.

There really is a children's book called the Encyclopedia of Monsters. It was in my elementary school's library, which I checked out a few times. Simple and fun, but I did wonder about younger kids reading it.


End file.
